It's off now...never to be turned on again. It's possible an update turned it on.I know you said you turned off those settings a while ago, but is it possible that they got turned back on via something OTA update and you didn't notice? I've gotten a number of a OTA updates where stuff I had previously turned off became enabled again and had to go in and disable again. Verify that they are still truly off.
If I used the BlueCruise more often then maybe I'd be more comfortable with its quirks. Unfortunately, the highway system in this area is very congested and people are a little nuts how they drive. I only use it when going any distance in less congested roads. I don't need the car reading speed signs and changing the speed to what it thinks I should be going. I know how fast I want to go. Not a fan of that system. If I always wanted to go the speed limit, them maybe I'd like it more.I have all of the ADAS enabled all of the time. The car and its software decide how much of it will be active. The driver's job is to monitor it. It took the better part of a year to be totally comfortable with it. I was used to most of it from my '19 RAV4, but the MME does so much more. If you use it on its terms it is pretty well done. Now I wouldn't have a car with any less.