I think this is the place for this one…

[JoeDimwit]

Brothers and Sisters, there has been a death in the family, and I blame Ford. I was driving to work today, and some small di*k loser in a jacked up pavement Princess with off-road tires threw up a rock. That rock made more directions than the bullet that killed President Kennedy, and landed in the bottom corner of my windshield. Due to the obviously faulty glass Ford used, this caused a spider fracture which led to a small hairline crack forming in the windshield, a crack which grew before my eyes from about 2 inches to over a foot during the remainder of my drive to work.

I pulled into the nearest Electrify America charging station, and couldn’t find a single soul capable of helping me find a suitable replacement windshield. I thought they were supposed to make our daily drive magical, and clearly that is not the case #EyesOpened

Due to the lack of Boulder resistance, I no longer feel safe in this vehicle. I mean, if they were this careless specking out the windshield, what specs did they use on the seatbelts, airbags, brakes, etc?

Does anyone want a slightly used Grabber Blue First Edition? I’m willing to work with you on a fair price.

Just in case anyone missed it, most of this post is a joke. I did wreck my windshield, but you’re not getting my car. I’ll keep you posted on how long it takes to get a replacement installed.

Joe

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[Jimrpa]

Brothers and Sisters, there has been a death in the family, and I blame Ford. I was driving to work today, and some small di*k loser in a jacked up pavement Princess with off-road tires threw up a rock. That rock made more directions than the bullet that killed President Kennedy, and landed in the bottom corner of my windshield. Due to the obviously faulty glass Ford used, this caused a spider fracture which led to a small hairline crack forming in the windshield, a crack which grew before my eyes from about 2 inches to over a foot during the remainder of my drive to work.

I pulled into the nearest Electrify America charging station, and couldn’t find a single soul capable of helping me find a suitable replacement windshield. I thought they were supposed to make our daily drive magical, and clearly that is not the case #EyesOpened

Due to the lack of Boulder resistance, I no longer feel safe in this vehicle. I mean, if they were this careless specking out the windshield, what specs did they use on the seatbelts, airbags, brakes, etc?

Does anyone want a slightly used Grabber Blue First Edition? I’m willing to work with you on a fair price.

Just in case anyone missed it, most of this post is a joke. I did wreck my windshield, but you’re not getting my car. I’ll keep you posted on how long it takes to get a replacement installed.

Joe

Joe, I normally have a lot of respect for you, and I’m really sorry to hear about the windshield, but I gotta ask - just how did you know the “loser” had a “small di*k”? I’m usually paying attention to other things when I’m driving (like watching movies I’m streaming on the 77” OLED in the passenger seat! Take THAT all you people who want Netflix on the center screen ???)

Seriously, I am sorry to hear about the car! That really sucks!

 

[JoeDimwit]

Joe, I normally have a lot of respect for you, and I’m really sorry to hear about the windshield, but I gotta ask - just how did you know the “loser” had a “small di*k”? I’m usually paying attention to other things when I’m driving (like watching movies I’m streaming on the 77” OLED in the passenger seat! Take THAT all you people who want Netflix on the center screen ???)

Seriously, I am sorry to hear about the car! That really sucks!

When someone lifts a truck so high that the running boards have 3 steps to climb up in the thing, then chromes everything they can, then puts off-road tires on it knowing full well they’re never taking it off the pavement, I make certain assumptions. ?‍ #OnlyHuman

 

[Jimrpa]

When someone lifts a truck so high that the running boards have 3 steps to climb up in the thing, then chromes everything they can, then puts off-road tires on it knowing full well they’re never taking it off the pavement, I make certain assumptions. ?‍ #OnlyHuman

Perfectly reasonable to me. I also make the same assumption about every corvette owner, except I also assume they have prescriptions for 100 mg Viagra as well. ?

 

[Carsinmyblood]

At least it didn't hit paint. That takes days. Glass is a day at the glass shop.

I don't care for Grabber Blue, so I'll get a discount. Just park it out front with a signed title and the key, I'll send a check for it, minus the glass costs.

Thanks.

 

[JoeDimwit]

At least it didn't hit paint. That takes days. Glass is a day at the glass shop.

I don't care for Grabber Blue, so I'll get a discount. Just park it out front with a signed title and the key, I'll send a check for it, minus the glass costs.

Thanks.

I like the Grabber Blue. But of all the colors currently available, Rapid Red is my favorite by a long shot. That said, If I could choose any current Ford color, without a seconds hesitation I’d choose Antimatter Blue. That color looks so amazing in the light.

 

[JoeDimwit]

Just park it out front with a signed title and the key, I'll send a check for it, minus the glass costs.

Seeing as these vehicles are kinda hard to come by, $450,000.00 seems like a fair price. Once your check clears escrow, I will send you the title, key fob, and address to come pick it up. ?

 

[highland58]

I like the Grabber Blue. But of all the colors currently available, Rapid Red is my favorite by a long shot. That said, If I could choose any current Ford color, without a seconds hesitation I’d choose Antimatter Blue. That color looks so amazing in the light.

When the sun is low so that the sunlight has a red/gold tint, and shining on the rapid red, it is a dazzling color. That said, if a bright metallic clear coat blue would have been available I may have picked that color instead.

 

[Nklem]

Your insurance will try to convince you to go Aftermarket. I assume there may not be one. Stick with that special Ford OEM Tinted unit.

 

[JoeDimwit]

Your insurance will try to convince you to go Aftermarket. I assume there may not be one. Stick with that special Ford OEM Tinted unit.

I fully intend to insist on genuine Ford glass.

it looks like there may be 2 different parts, and I’m not sure which one is correct for my car. I’m going to get that info from the dealership tomorrow.

 

[Cnote]

Perfectly reasonable to me. I also make the same assumption about every corvette owner, except I also assume they have prescriptions for 100 mg Viagra as well. ?

As an under 40 female corvette owner...well yeah that's fair lol.

 

[AFKMind]

I fully intend to insist on genuine Ford glass.

it looks like there may be 2 different parts, and I’m not sure which one is correct for my car. I’m going to get that info from the dealership tomorrow.

Most likely heated and non heated.
I believe the North America market can only use the non-heated for some obscure transport regulation reason.

 

[Jimrpa]

As an under 40 female corvette owner...well yeah that's fair lol.

Looks down at the ground blushing and kicks a pebble…
Sorry ma’am… I didn’t know there was such a thing as a female corvette owner ?

 

[Jimrpa]

Most likely heated and non heated.
I believe the North America market can only use the non-heated for some obscure transport regulation reason.

Hey, if you can get the heated - go for it! Oh, wait, nevermind. Our software doesn’t have the feature.

 

[Jimrpa]

I like the Grabber Blue. But of all the colors currently available, Rapid Red is my favorite by a long shot. That said, If I could choose any current Ford color, without a seconds hesitation I’d choose Antimatter Blue. That color looks so amazing in the light.

Apparently, I like a very pedestrian color - infinite blue, since Ford ran out of it. Years ago, Volvo had an amazing black. I think it was called black fire or something like that. It was sort of a candy black, like rapid red, but black. The kicker though was it had these very tiny iridescent flecks in it. You really had to get close to the paint to even see them, but the effect was amazing. The car looked black and on fire at the same time. I’m not sure how to describe it. If I could get that color, I’d jump on it in a heartbeat. They don’t offer it any more of course.

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