Modifications to end nanny-car harassment, nagging & beeping annoyances?

[mkhuffman]

I put a volume control on my pedestrian speaker. It is always turned off, but if I wanted, I could turn it up and annoy my neighbors. But then it would also annoy me, so it stays off.

I haven't messed around with forskin to make any of the other changes.

?

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[DevSecOps]

I haven't messed around with forskin to make any of the other changes.

Oh, cut it off out already...

 

[woody]

Or you could just leave the key in the car. It works for me

LEAVE THE KEY IN THE CAR????
I learned the absurdity of that brainless choice many, many years ago (that was when it was still called grand theft auto).

 

[BigMach-E]

I understand the OPs points, but a lot of modern cars do a lot of beeping. I don’t mind most of the MME’s beeps. YMMV.

 

[macchiaz-o]

1) Disable startup sounds - I unlock the car, sit in the seat and press start button. Dun-dah-dum x3. Yes, I put my seat belt low and tight across the waist.

I get the impression you're interested in changing the vehicle without changing any of your habits. And yes, this one is annoying to me, too, but there is an alternative you might find less grating.

Close the driver's door AND buckle your seat belt before pressing Start. Assuming no other startup warnings need your attention, then instead of the discordant doo-dee-doos x3, you'll hear a dulcet startup chime. (Some of us might not hear it, it's rather quiet.) Its counterpart is the shutdown jingle that you are complaining about in #6.

 

[fpasta]

I wouldn't mind getting rid of the double honk. I leave the car on usually in the early mornings heading to work when I get coffee etc.

 

[Benny’66]

Oh, cut it off out already...

Sir, come size my Forscan? What??

 

[generaltso]

I wouldn't mind getting rid of the double honk. I leave the car on usually in the early mornings heading to work when I get coffee etc.

That's one of the easy ones with FORScan.

 

[Mach1E]

I understand the OPs points, but a lot of modern cars do a lot of beeping. I don’t mind most of the MME’s beeps. YMMV.

I don’t mind the beeps, but I do much prefer the Detroit symphony produced sounds of my wife’s Lincoln Aviator.

 

[Two Trick Ponies]

You can also google it and save the entire owners manual as a pdf on your computer to review it there. Or, print it out if you're old school!

 

[ChasingCoral]

2) Deactivate Reverse Beeping: Turn the nob to reverse, and beeps commence. I usually leave my garage early and it is annoying to our neighbors.

Have your neighbors said it annoys them?

And #3 sounds like operator error. Of course safety systems aren’t designed (or maybe are) for aggressive drivers.

#3 can be solved by setting the sensitivity to low.

Most of these are easily solved with RTFM

 

[ChasingCoral]

- read the owner's manual [btw, yes #8 is in the manual but couldn't find other solutions there]

3) Adjust Collision Warning Sensitivity:

pp 281-282

4) Customize Bluecruise Alerts: get on highway, Bluecruise on *beep. I look to the car on my left *warning. Approach a turn on the highway where bluecruise is not yet programmed to work and auto-cancelled *beep. Oh, the car can change lanes for me? *ding* Etc, you get the picture.

If you don't like BlueCruise, don't use it.
Have you adjusted the lane keeping alerts to your preferences? You can choose alert, aid, or both. p 263

5) Disable Front Camera Warnings: Pull into parking spot, front camera activates, and cacophony commences before nearing the curb/wall/parking sign, as if I'm going to plow right into it.

See #3

7) PAAK double honk: Sometimes when I don't have the keyfob with me, the car will give a quick double horn honk to further annoy me.

Don't leave your keys or phone in the car when you leave it. If you leave them in, someone can drive off with the car.

9) Warning. Should the car put sensors on or off? I honestly haven't figured out what these parked car sensors are, I just know that they are not as functional as the Tesla Sentry Mode.

Alarm sensors, p. 102

All of these were found with just a few minutes and application of the search feature on the pdf. I'm sure it took me less time than it took for you to type your initial diatribe.

 

[Mirak]

1) Disable startup sounds - I unlock the car, sit in the seat and press start button. Dun-dah-dum x3. Yes, I put my seat belt low and tight across the waist.

Maybe Forscan. No other way. Yes it’s dumb.

2) Deactivate Reverse Beeping: Turn the nob to reverse, and beeps commence. I usually leave my garage early and it is annoying to our neighbors.

Forscan can eliminate. Or you can perform a physical mod. I hate it, too. I hate the virtue signaling on this board about this topic, too.

3) Adjust Collision Warning Sensitivity: City driving, approaching a stoplight, and while braking the collision warning beeps, slams on brake, and jerks me forward. False alarm!

It can be adjusted. Read manual. But also gonna need to drive less aggressively based on what you are describing.

4) Customize Bluecruise Alerts: get on highway, Bluecruise on *beep. I look to the car on my left *warning. Approach a turn on the highway where bluecruise is not yet programmed to work and auto-cancelled *beep. Oh, the car can change lanes for me? *ding* Etc, you get the picture.

Can’t do anything about this, except not use BC.

5) Disable Front Camera Warnings: Pull into parking spot, front camera activates, and cacophony commences before nearing the curb/wall/parking sign, as if I'm going to plow right into it.

Can’t do anything about this.

6) Silence post drive warnings and reminders: I park, and turn off the car. A grovely jingle tells reminds me that I turned off the MachE and successfully completed another drive from point A to B.

Maybe Forscan. Dunno.

7) PAAK double honk: Sometimes when I don't have the keyfob with me, the car will give a quick double horn honk to further annoy me.

The false double honk is a known bug. Can disable in Forscan.

8) Warning. Did I leave any babies in the back seat?

Can disable in settings. I think for six months. Read manual.

9) Warning. Should the car put sensors on or off? I honestly haven't figured out what these parked car sensors are, I just know that they are not as functional as the Tesla Sentry Mode.

You can disable the pop up message in settings. Read manual. You can also turn off these sensors in settings, but they revert back to On with every new key cycle. Super annoying because the interior motion sensors frequently cause alarms if an occupant stays in the car while you run a quick errand and the doors lock. Only solution is to cover the sensors with tape.

 

[leehinde]

Forscan can eliminate. Or you can perform a physical mod. I hate it, too. I hate the virtue signaling on this board about this topic, too.

"I drive an electric car and fart butterflies" is virtue signaling. "Don't disable a legally required safety feature" is legal advice.

 

[DYohn]

I'm old. My first car was a 1955 Bel Air that was 10 years old at the time. The only noises it made that I didn't want were when there was something that needed attention. Same thing today. The noises indicate trouble, or action needed, or attention desired. Me, I like them all. and feel much safer because of them,. Call it a "NANNY" if that makes you feel superior I supposed, but I call them being modern.

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